The legal profession, as an independent pillar of American democracy, commits to upholding the rule of law, whether it is through defending this fundamental principle in the courtroom or zealously advocating for support from major institutions and the American public. With the current U.S. political landscape introducing new challenges for lawyers, one thing is clear—America’s power rests on the strength of its rule of law, which respects differing viewpoints through civil discourse in order to maintain its integrity in policymaking and governance.
In recent years, the heightened geopolitical climate in the United States and globally has left individuals, families, businesses, and communities to grapple with many difficult conversations, challenged by opposing ideological viewpoints of those closest to them. The purpose of this article is to share observations from a dispute resolution practitioner’s perspective on how individuals across the ideological spectrum can aim to restore peace and preserve relationships with those of diverging worldviews.
The following are stories of lessons learned and personal thoughts on how one can bridge ideological splits.
Understanding of the Self
The last few presidential election cycles have caused families, colleagues, and communities to publicly express dissatisfaction if the outcome was not in their favor. Like many, I also fell victim to my own judgments during those moments. Then, I started reflecting and asking myself, “Why is it that some of the friends and family I respected the most and felt most aligned with suddenly, overnight, became the very people I judged due to a single vote? What values did we share that bonded us in the first place—because we clearly have areas in our lives where our minds meet?”
By practicing self-reflection and self-questioning, we can better recognize our own biases and judgments and let those learnings inform how we navigate difficult conversations grounded in respect, empathy, and understanding. Further, by practicing honest self-inquiry, we can more effectively and confidently communicate our ideological positions and beliefs, thereby raising each other’s awareness about the shared values and differing priorities.
To Better Understand the Other
In most households, it is nearly impossible for all family members to agree on personal matters, let alone ideological beliefs. The closer a relationship, the more likely one strongly reacts to feelings of invalidation or judgment. When there is genuine curiosity, mutual respect, and confidence in the relationship, however, any polarizing views will undoubtedly create a productive discussion. In my experience, I have learned that by assuming the other person’s “positive intent,” my relationship with the individual I disagreed with naturally grew closer; we managed to separate our positions from our relationship and not let our minds be clouded by reducing the other person’s entire being to just one single vote.
By validating another person’s feelings and not necessarily their viewpoint, we can foster more trust, openness, and candidness from that individual. Through active listening and sincerity during this “information-gathering phase,” we can gain added context and background that help us better understand what shaped the other person’s decisions. As individuals, all of us—what I like to call multifaceted beings—are shaped by our unique upbringing, experiences, and education, among other things. Therefore, this exercise of “seeking first to understand, then to be understood,” as Stephen Covey says, can help deepen the relationship by successfully moving through crucial conversations to allow everyone their right to feel seen and heard, without judgment.
In Order to Preserve the Relationship
The closest relationships are often the ones that cause deeper emotional wounds and disappointments when ideological viewpoints clash. However, the strength of a relationship only deepens when we have the confidence and knowledge that any crucial conversations will not shake its foundation. To bridge any divide, the power lies in our ability to maintain composure and willingness to talk at critical moments so that productive dialogue can lead to a more profound understanding from both sides.
In summary, bridging the ideological divide does not require individuals with opposing viewpoints to engage in a lengthy debate in defense of their positions. It simply requires each person to be self-aware of their own biases and judgments, reflect on their shared core principles, if any, and invite dialogue, rooted in empathy and curiosity, with those on opposite ends of the ideological spectrum. Conversations about conflicting viewpoints are justifiably difficult to navigate, but without them and without diversity of thought, we would not be the United States of America with an established rule of law that has stood tall for nearly 250 years.
This article is part of a series on the rule of law and its importance for business lawyers created by the American Bar Association Business Law Section’s Rule of Law Working Group. Read more articles in the series.
